All Black Everything

Top U. S. Cities for Human Trafficking

I was listening to Mahogany Momology podcast and something they mentioned really stuck in my head. One of them said the reason that they don’t let their child run around or pick up stuff or stop paying attention is because Dallas is the 3 largest city for human trafficking (Houston is actually number 3). They also mentioned little black boys being a target for organ harvesting.

I never thought of why black parents are so adamant about children sticking close or paying attention, or not being distracted by touching things. I really never thought of any of that until I became a parent, and even though Malakhai is not old enough to roam around, it’s still something that I will keep in mind once he gets older.

I wanted to share the top cities in the U. S. for human trafficking from lowest to highest.

15. Orlando

14. Baltimore

13. New York

12. Chicago

11. Los Angeles 

10. Dallas

9. San Francisco 

8. San Diego

7. Las Vegas 

6. Sacramento

5. Columbus

4. Miami

3. Houston 

2. Atlanta

  1. Washington D. C.

As you can see that California has the most cities on the lit, being that they have the highest issue with human trafficking. Being that I live in Houston and it’s number 3, that’s scary. Be sure, especially if you are a POC, that you are watching your children when you are out. 

Source:https://www.insidermonkey.com/blog/15-top-us-cities-for-human-trafficking-in-2018-651630/?singlepage=1

All Black Everything

Free at Last!!!

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If you don’t know the significance of this photo, then you don’t live in, nor are you from a southern state. The emancipation proclamation was a document that ended slavery on January 1, 1863 in the southern states, however, because the slaves had no television, phone or any other way to get the news, they were still slaves for another two years. This is more so in Texas, where I’ve been living for the past 21 years (despite not being born here, I’m still a Texan). On June 19, 1865, it was announced that slavery had been abolished in Texas. We celebrate this day because of its importance. Texas was the last slave state and where all of my family is from.

All Black Everything, Health + Wellness

Apesh*t & Black Panther

No shade, but black women are the most diverse group of women on this planet. It’s true.  We are the only group of women who come in a wide variety of shades and we have a wide variety of hair textures. But the one thing that bothers me is the misrepresentation of the different shades of black women and the unfortunate favoritism of certain shades. Not to mention the treatment of different shades.

I am not a Beyoncé fan (Beyhive do not come for me unless I send for you), but I have a great respect for her latest video, Apesh*t. It is an extremely inclusive video, with black women of shades across the entire spectrum. That made me feel amazing that she did that. In today’s time, women of my skin tone or darker are underrepresented in music videos and all other aspects of media (commercials, billboards, ads, etc.).

Beyoncé is all about the empowerment of black women, just look at her Formation music video. Her live performances always have only black women doing background and the instrumentals. There aren’t too many women with large platforms and popularity as her, advocating for black women in their entirety.

Black women from lightest to darkest have many adversities against them. Light skinned women are always asked if they’re mixed because they’re too light to just be black. They have to have something else in them. They are also seen as stuck up, yet the most sought after from dark skinned black men. Then you have the women of my color who also aren’t seen as just black. Speaking from personal experience, I am always asked where I am from. Many people think that I am from the islands because of my hair texture and my complexion. I’ve been told I’m too pretty to just be black, and believe it or not, that is an insult to my heritage. I am just black. Period.

I’ve also been told that I must be mixed. Well I’ve never seen a biracial black woman as dark as I am. I’m never seen as just a black woman in America. Also, because I speak proper English (thanks to those years spent living in England), I have been bullied and astrocized by black men but more so black women, speaking as if I’m better than them, that’s what they tell me. Not all black women are loud, uneducated, petty, mad, and belligerent.

Then you have those who are in the range in between light and dark who are often left in the abyss. Nobody really talks about them. Most other ethnicities don’t know but there is a rift amongst black women due to the varying shades. The lighter skinned sisters tend to feel like they’re better than the darker skinned and also look down on us. I’m not saying all, but most, and I think they feel like the have a sense of entitlement because society sees them as more favorable.

I am the type of person who looks deeper into everything I see, especially commercials. Rarely will you ever see a darker skinned woman. They are always of light complexion or biracial. Women of my skin tone aren’t seen as pretty.

I also want to take note of Black Panther. A YouTuber that I watch brought up a good point. She said a friend of hers felt slighted because the representation in Black Panther was limited to women of my color and darker. I hadn’t actually paid attention to that during the numerous times that I’ve seen it. After watching the video, I went back and watched it again and realized that she was right. The thing is, in much of Africa, where Wakanda is, there aren’t really any lighter skinned women. Africa is mainly of people my color and darker.

So, with Black Panther not having any lighter skinned women, it was a true representation, not to mention, all the women in the movie aside from Lupita, Sury, and T’Challa’s mother, were bald. This movie really was for our culture despite the representation, or underrepresentation.

A lot of this rift, again, goes back to slavery. Lighter skinned women were favored mainly because they were a product of a slave woman being raped by a slave master, or a white woman manipulating a black slave male into sleeping with her. These children ended up being house negroes. Granted there treatment was still bad but not considerably as bad as field negroes (I don’t use the other “n” word). We are all still experiencing PTSD (post traumatic slave disorder).

I hope that one day, collectively, we can put colorism aside. We are all black and descendants of Africans and African slaves.

All Black Everything, confessions, Vegan Mommy Things

Confessions of a Single Mom #6: The Talk

And I’m not talking about the sex talk either. As a black mother to a black boy, we have to have a talk that our white counterparts don’t: being a black boy in a society that sees him as dangerous and a threat because of the color of his skin. It’s a shame that I have to even have this talk with him and to say that I’m terrified of it is an understatement.

Why do I have to tell my son that because of the color of his skin and he’s a male, he was born with a target on his back? Why do I have to tell him about obeying the police no matter what and not to run even if you’re innocent or they will shoot you down? Why do I have to tell him that no matter what the cop says, don’t become defensive or combative, just cooperate? Why do I have to tell him that if he’s hanging with his white friends and cops come around, he’ll be the one they look at while his friends get to go free, or that he’s the reason for there being any trouble?

Why do I have to explain to him that in school if he seems to be smarter than the rest and he isn’t properly accommodated, his acting out will automatically have him labeled ADD or ADHD or even SPED, when in reality he is just smart and ahead for his age? Why do I have to explain to him that he won’t be able to do everything his white friends do because his skin doesn’t allow him that privilege? Why do I have to explain to him that he will be stereotyped until the day he dies with people assuming he’s a ball player, can run fast and has a big penis?

Why do I have to explain to him that some, not all, white women will go after him for his penis or his money if he decides to play ball? Why do I have to explain to him that he will be fetishized by white women and gay white men? Why do I have to explain to him that there is a certain way he has to act around white people just to make it in this world?

But you know what? Why do I have to explain anything aforementioned to my black son? Because that’s the world we live in and if he’s not careful, he’ll find himself at the barrel end of a gun. I’m not even looking forward to having to have this conversation with his father about when we should talk about these things with him. I know that someone will say why is race always involved. If you live in America and anywhere that black people, especially black boys and men, are shot down for no reason, you’ll understand. Coming from a black mother, our worry about our babies is ten times worse than those of any other race, including those of biracial children.

Product Reviews

We’re Going to Need More Wi…Sparkling Water

I made a vow this year to read 25 books. Well, starting on the first, I read one book, cover-to-cover. It was just that good. “We’re Going to Need More Wine…” by Gabrielle Union was a helluva read. It was nonstop laughter, sadness, anger and so much more. Fortunately, I had no plans to leave my house on Monday, so I figured, why not read a book that I digitally checked out from the library (checking out books is part of my journey to minimalism)?

I won’t get into too much detail, but majority of her book had a lot to do with her not being comfortable in her own skin as a dark skinned black woman. Growing up she felt like an outsider having gone to PW schools and being the only black girl, a dark skinned black girl at that. She talked about wanting to have her hair straight to make her less of a target to be bullied, which is something that I can relate to. I always wanted me hair straight and even though I was at a mixed school (Channelview), I was always picked on for some reason or another, but I think it mainly had to do with the fact that I was a dark skinned black girl who had long hair and spoke proper English.

She goes on to talk about the boys she dated, the boys she wanted to date, and the boys that didn’t show interest because of her skin. When she brought up the topic of her first husband, Chris, making it big in his career and how he wanted someone who more so fit the part, a lighter skinned woman, it made me think about how black men today and when they get a little bit of money, they go for the light skinned black women, Latinas, Asians and white women. It always baffles me how these men, our men, can think that we aren’t worthy enough to be on their arm when their status changes.

Union talked about how she found out her dad was cheating on her mom with a woman who looked exactly like her mom. Why cheat on your significant other with someone who favors them? I’m not seeing the sense in that. Then the fact that her mother knew but stayed because she loved the life they had. I think what parents don’t understand about their choices is that their kids see these choices and often times end up making the same poor decisions. It’s the domino effect that just keeps trickling down from generation to generation.

Rape is a huge part of this book and she explains how it has affected her life and her relationships. She was raped by someone she didn’t know, but often time that isn’t the case with rape victims and survivors. Coming from someone who knew their rapist, it’s not something you can move on from. You have to worry that you may one day run into this person, if your family will believe you, if they threatened to hurt you if you told. She talks about the kids that she mentors and the groups that she’s in and have worked with.

If you see Gabrielle Union and her resume of work, you would never know that she grow up hating herself, dealing with people who did and dealt drugs, binge drinking at a young age, having sex just because and so much more. I definitely will be reading this book again because it’s relatable and inspiring in so many ways.

I have always been a fiction reader, but over the past year, I have really gotten into nonfiction and memoirs, self-help, self-care, and anything to help better my life. If you haven’t read this book, I highly, highly recommend it.

Product Reviews

3* for Rice Farmer’s Market

Normally I only go to Urban Harvest Farmer’s Market Eastside but they are closed until February, so I decided to try a new farmer’s market. I wouldn’t say I regret going, but it was an experience. Let’s start with the positive.

I initially went because it was Ripe Cuisine’s last stop before the holiday. Ripe Cuisine is a vegan food truck and my absolute fave non Black owned vegan business. I always make sure to stop by them first when I go to Urban Harvest. They are actually the main reason I go, aside from Sinfull Bakery.


Anyway, they have awesome, friendly service and the food is prepared and ready in a timely manner. One thing about vegan food is it does not take long to cook. Once I got my food, I almost forgot to take a picture. I ordered the Bistro Burger with Sweet Potato Fries. Aside from 24 Diner in Austin, Tx, this is the best veggie burger I have ever had. Full of flavor, just amazing. I am never disappointed when I stop by Ripe Cuisine. If you are ever in Houston, please check them out.

My next stop was Angela’s Oven. This was an Indian food booth and I love Indian food. The guy let me sample all of their vegan foods and I ended up getting the Nisha’s Vegetable Samosas (ever since I tried samosas at this vegan Indian restaurant in Austin, I’ve been hooked) and their Vegetable Lintel Paratha. They have lots of good vegan foods that the sell and I wanted the all, but I didn’t want to be greedy.


I got some multigrain day old bread from a booth (I forget the name) that sells baked goods. I don’t normally buy bread but once every few months, not really a bread eater, but their bread looked so good I had to buy a loaf.


I would definitely say to check out Rice Farmer’s Market if you are ever in Houston. Now I did experience what I felt was racism. I could be over reacting but I felt slighted anyway. I was sitting down enjoying my burger and these two girls, I’m assuming college girls because they looked young, came at sat at the table. both of them were white. One guy who was also white, from a both who was selling coffee, came over with only two cups and asked the girls if they wanted to sample some of the coffee.

He did not even acknowledge my presence and he knew he wasn’t going to ask me to try being that he only brought over two cups for the two girls. I really felt some type of way about that, like do you not also see me sitting here? Granted this farmer’s market is held in the stadium parking lot of Rice University, a predominantly white university in a predominantly white area, so I should not have been as surprised, but that really bothered me.

I give the market 3* because of the food. There wasn’t a variety of vendors there like most farmer’s markets I’ve been to and am used to. I also give it 3* because of what I felt was racism. I probably won’t go back again and just catch Ripe Cuisine in their other usual places that make me feel more comfortable.

All Black Everything, Health + Wellness

Black Mental Health

I was talking to a friend a couple days ago about something that he was going through and we got on the subject of Black people seeking professional help. What also brought this to my mind is the recent incidents with Kanye West. Now I am not saying that he does or doesn’t have mental issues, because I am not in his inner circle or close to him, but it made me wonder why is it that when Black people profess that they are going through something or that they need help, it is seen as being taboo or they are shunned for it?

Now I have written a post about this topic before, but I wanted to bring it back up. I feel it’s a serious, relevant topic especially given the increased police brutality our community has faced over the past few years. We are still dealing with the aftermath of slavery, which our  great-great grandparents, and so forth, have endured and have passed down these mental illnesses through generations.

Going to a psychiatrist is seen as a white thing and that only white people can have mental illnesses. My thing is with white privilege and white supremacy, there is nothing for them to have issues about. For hundreds of years they have oppressed, raped, mutilated, murdered, etc., a great many people of color. If anything, there should be more people of color seeking professional help. 

In our community, we always get the “I’ll pray for you” or “Stay strong” or “You are man/woman and you have to be strong for you family.” Excuse my language, but that’s bullshit. Praying for me and telling me to stay strong is not going to help me get through what I’m going through. Sometimes we need someone to just listen or be able to just cry to. Often times not being able to have those options, causes us to bottle things up and we lash out in very dangerous ways.

I’ve been to therapy and it was a very traumatic experience for me and I hadn’t gone back. This was about 7 years ago, which is how long I’ve been single. I’ve been thinking of going back and this time to a Black therapist. I went through a lot with my last relationship and I still haven’t recovered from it. When people go through terrible breakups, they carry that baggage and all that hurt with them throughout their relationships that follow.

There are many other things that affect our mental health such as rape, murder, racism, being passed over for a job, unequal pay and our diet. I think that our diet is one of the main factors when it comes to mental health in the Black community, we have been brainwashed and mentally conditioned to believe that the way that we eat is okay because our families have eaten that way for generations. Well truth be told, our grandparents, and those before them, did not have other options or the resources to educate themselves on why this food was killing them or making them ill. That goes back again to slavery. We have not healed from any of that.

As a community we have to seek the help that we need and stop thinking that it’s not okay to be going through something that you can’t handle on your own.