My Life, Vegan Mommy Things

Celibate 8+ Months

Single mom life can get pretty damn dry, Sahara Desert dry. I’m talking about sex. Being single is hard, being a mom isn’t hard, but not having sex is even harder. I miss the feel of a man and the way his hands would hold and caress me. The tender kisses. Our bodies rhythmically rubbing together as we make passionate love. I’m kidding; I’ve never made love before.

Being celibate was a choice I made for me and for my son. I don’t want my son to grow up seeing me with different men or always going out to get some play. I don’t want him to have this image of me or women in general that we’re hos. I also don’t want him to think that any penis comes before him.

So how am I getting through this dry spell you may be asking. Well, several things.

  1. My blog. I spend a great deal of time at night after Malakhai goes to sleep, creating content. Being a mom you really don’t have any free time unless the kid(dos) is/are asleep, and even then you are busy cleaning up and preparing for the next day.
  2. Projects. I just launched my meal planner and that was a huge ordeal for me, but not as huge as this cookbook coming out. A lot of time went into creating it and I’m still promoting it.
  3. Reading list. When I do find down time after he is asleep and I’ve already cleaned and everything else, I catch up on whatever book I’m reading. I’m currently reading “Born a Crime” by Trevor Noah.
  4. Malakhai. I spend every moment he’s awake playing with him, reading to him, and just giving him all of my attention. He keeps me so busy that I don’t have time to think of anything else. If breathing wasn’t so natural, I’d forget to do that.
  5. Budgeting. Budgeting each check takes sometime. And not only that, I also have to update my budget planner and spreadsheet. It’s a necessity so that I stay on track.
  6. Friends. I don’t get out much, but when I do, I enjoy myself. To have adult conversations and interactions outside of work, is worth it. I’m making an effort to do that more.
  7. Candy Crush and Toy Blast. I tend to play these games often to occupy my thoughts and also to train my problem solving and critical thinking skills.
  8. Clean. Having a child, I’m often doing laundry, meal prepping for him, picking up his toys and sanitizing everything. That’s a chore within itself.
  9. Journal. I haven’t done this much lately, but I do plan to get back into it. Journaling has helped me a lot over the years, and now that I’ve started counseling, I think they both will do me some good.
  10. Self discipline. More like willpower. I’ve taken into consideration that I have a lot going for me and going on. Sex is the furthest thing from my mind. A man in general. And that’s not to say I’m not interested or I’ll turn down anyone who approaches me; I’m just notnout actively searching for these things. I lay all of my own bills and I take care of my son, so I won’t settle for mediocre, average, or a quick lay. I owe myself and my son better than that.

If you’re celibate, how are you keeping your choice?