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  1. Happy birthday! Don’t be too hard on yourself for not keeping up with your blog – you’re a busy mama! Thank you for all the ways you inspire the rest of us! ❤️

  2. Deff is a daunting task choosing the right one. I also would like to return to therapy to better myself for my children and my family.

  3. I have a full blown covert Narcissist baby mama, and dealing with them is a nightmare. Control, manipulation and my pain is all she cares about. After a long court battle we have my daughter 50/50 week on week off, and if she can’t get to me in some way she will get her fuel by abusing our little girl emotionally and mentally so it doesn’t leave scars that show. The only way to deal with the demands is exactly how you say, with pettiness. Never over react. I’m just glad I read up on narcissism a year ago because it has definitely helped me realize why people do what they do and how to properly deal with them!

    • She’s trifling and I’d take her ass to court for that. She doesn’t care about that baby. As a mother, I can’t imagine ever abusing my son in any form or fashion, no matter how much disdain I have for his father. But yes, pettiness has got him acting right. He used to try to control the coparentship that we have and have things go his way or demand I do what he says but he now realizes that in all actuality, I run this. We don’t have 50/50 because my son is a baby, so he gets him one day a week, for now, until he gets a little older. He now works with me and tries to come to an agreement because I won’t stand for his shit and my pettiness makes things real hard for him. Just keep being a great father and emotionally and mentally supportive to your daughter.

  4. My husband and I deal with this all the time. My bonus child’s bio mom is a high conflict person and very narcissistic. I don’t react or say a word to her in public if kids around I will say hi but keep walking. Husband doesn’t react and just try’s to communicate best he can now that we have primary custody in the best interest of our son

    • That’s probably best. Not engaging with narcissistic people keeps everything civilized in my experience.

  5. My sons great auntie ( on his dads side ) went through something similar and was a single mom of two. & she told me that it’s ok to be angry for what my sons put me through but put a time limit on hat or I’ll be letting it steal my joy…. I’ve taken it to heart and believe it to be true but good on you knowing one day you’ll turn the page

  6. I’ve felt like this before too, and I also felt so guilty. Or sometimes I see my friends that don’t have kids and think to myself how much easier their life is than mine. But I guess we’re only human, right?

  7. So I stayed in a transitional home and we were required during our stay to have one on one counseling. In our community unfortunately we are always trying to find ways to fix things ourselves instead of seeking help. I think it what we believe to be a strength. When I did counseling for me and my daughter she asked me questions and helped me to cope with my feelings about things. I really appreciate the judge-mental zone where I could talk about how I felt and she could help me figure out things that I could do to provide me with that I needed. I always say give it a try and because some counseling or life coaching is really healthy for the woman so you can be an even better mom.

    • I’ve gone to counseling before, however it was more traumatizing than helpful. But I do need to learn to cope with a lore of feelings, trauma, and stress.

  8. This is very true!! I am guilty an have definitely used one of these excuses as to why I don’t drink water and eventually we will see the consequence of not doing it. Thanks for sharing the importance of water.

  9. Wow! Well I’ve been married now for 16 years. From what I remember in my experiences. I think once you have sex with a man, we fell like we have “conquered” (for lack of a better term) that woman. Sometimes, not in all cases, we think or may see that perticular woman as a friend with benefits. Especially if there is a history. He may possibly see you that way, although you may not see him in that way. Most guys would get the hint, obviously he feels like he hit it right, and you should want him for more, but if that’s not the case, don’t give him any conversation, because he will feel he has a chance even if the conversation is not positive. Let me be clear, I have had a friend with benefits in my past but it was mutual, we never talked about it, but it was mutual. Over time, we just distanced ourselves from each other. I did feel like I could get it whenever I wanted, but there was a difference with me because it went both ways. I think I would have gotten the hint. It sounds like he’s not taking you seriously because he can still speak to you in some form. It doesn’t sound like he wants to marry either, so it’s just one bad experience with one black male, trust me it’s not all of us.

    • Thank you so much for your insight. I know it’s not all black men, just from my experience and of those close to me, it’s a lot of them. It just baffles me that it’s like that. This particular guy I was referring to, he’s become somewhat obsessed so I’ve cut all ties completely. Despite the negative communication, it’s the access to me that’s enabling him and I guess making him feel that way.

  10. We all go through this. Not feeling well. Dealing with a non-stop screaming. On your own. It is damn hard. You are forgiven for feeling like this. Forgive yourself. There are times even now (T is 10) when I wished I did not have to mom. 🙂

  11. I had another unsuccessful attempt, to make a purchase, today. Im determined, so I’ll return. Beautiful place.

  12. This is amazing my dad is a true narcissist and dealing within now that I’m an adult is truly frustrating almost to the point i rather just not deal with him period

    • I’m sorry you’re going through that. I just don’t understand why people don’t understand that their behavior effects other people.

  13. I absolutely Love the video, As a Filmmaker, The story that was portrayed in just 3 minutes and 26 second’s of the whole video, genuinely grabbed my attention, Heart mind and soul. I teared up knowing where she is today, it’s because of her hard work, dedication and faith in God.

    It’s like seeing your own family win first place in life with a hint of offset drama.

    She loves him, they are in Puerto Rico today 21 December 2018, Offset wish was for Xmas to spend time with his Wife and Kulture.

    I Pray the best for them, their Relationship is not for the public.

    You’ve note down about breastfeeding,

    I truly believe the world need’s to not sexulise breastfeeding and think of it as taboo in some part of the world.

    Like you’ve displayed Monique, breastfeeding should be beautiful and magical because that bond is temporary till they grow old and become a pain in the butt😂.

    Thank you Monique for this blog.

    P. S. Please make a video about it too.
    Big Fan
    Love
    Roshan Meranchi

    • Yes! You are so right about it all. And I agree, their relationship isn’t for the public but Offset made that decision to embarrass her publicly not only with the cheating, but also his apology. He even went as far as to interrupt one of her performances with flowers and she was pissed. I would’ve been pissed too. I hope she just enjoys her holidays and takes time for herself and her daughter and just let him be.

      The details and creativity that went into this video is astounding and nothing short of Cardi B. Everything she does, it’s always her, it fits her.

      As for breastfeeding, I hate that it is sexualized and the only people who really complain are women because they don’t want their boyfriends or husbands looking. I honestly don’t think men think there’s anything sexual about a woman nursing her baby. It’s the insecurities of other women that is the problem.

      Thanks for your comment!!

      Love,
      Moniqua + Malakhai

    • It’s so damn hard to go from several pics and videos a day with my mom, to nothing. And I really can’t call often because I teach and breaks aren’t until the end of the day and by that time it’s time to go get him. I’m glad it somewhat eases.

  14. I am sooo paranoid about my son getting snatched! Seriously, that Halle berry movie cemented it. 😂 now i tell him not to talk to strangers especially if they’re creepy looking people ew

  15. Monique, this is very well written. Such valid points. It’s hard for single mommies to date in general and with the way our generation of men are these days we have tomake things clear for them!!!! 😗

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