All Black Everything

Why do Black Men feel so entitled?

I already know I’m going to catch heat behind this, but I don’t care. I’m only speaking from personal experience so clearly I don’t men all black men. I’m going to preface this article by giving a little back story.

This guy I went to school with has been after me for years, roughly 17 years to be exact. I was never interested in him and once we graduated high school, we parted ways. Thank goodness. However, it seems year after year he seeks me out on social media (not that I’m hard to find).

So about 2-3 years ago, I made the stupid mistake of finally sleeping with him. He’s been hounding me ever since, wanting to be with me. He’s a very aggressive person and I honestly didn’t and don’t feel safe in his presence because he tries to pressure me to have sex.

The last time I saw him was in 2017 at my ten year class reunion. We said “hey” in passing and of course he later on hit me up wanting to come over and I said “no”. We had a huge argument and again, parted ways. He hit me up last year and I was still not interested because I had just had a baby.

Let’s go back a couple of days and he messages me asking did I miss him. I was honest and said I hadn’t thought about him and I hadn’t. I have a child. I’m not thinking about any past men at this moment.

So then he asked why I didn’t want to “fuck with” him. That is where the conversation took a turn for the worst. As a grown ass man, that is not something you should be asking a woman and for certain not in that manner. I explained to him that he wasn’t the kind of man I wanted around my son, nor the kind of man I would want my son to look up to.

He of course was offended and said he’ll talk to me again when my son is old enough to understand what a role model is. I told him don’t bother. So he proceeds to comment on my breasts and I asked him to refrain from that. He asked why and I asked him if I told him to not touch me, would he ask the same question. He said since we had already slept together that would be weird for me to say no.

Pause. Only a rapist would say that because that’s rapist mentality. How dare you tell me that if I tell you not to touch me, that you should still be able to? What right do you have? You still have to have my permission rah and every time you want to touch me. I am not your possession. He then told me to grow up and I blocked him.

Now to my point. What is it that makes some black men feel entitled to do as they want to black men? What makes you entitled to date me, touch me, make me talk to you? Since when do you own women? Like the man who killed the woman because she didn’t want to dance with him, or men who call women “stuck up bitches” when they cat call and a woman turns her nose up, or say that she’s “ugly anyway?”

Where does this sense of entitlement come from? I’ll be damned if Malakhai grows up and thinks that he’s entitled to any woman he wants and she has to submit. Fuck that. If a woman says no then dammit she means no and vice versa. There are women too who feel entitled to men.

This topic also comes in loo of the documentary Surviving R. Kelly. He is the largest entitled piece of shit excuse of a man and I feel like some other black men are taking after him, thinking it’ll work for them.

Could it come from past sexual abuse? Lack of a father figure? How they grew up and seeing their father’s or, mother’s boyfriends, doing the same thing? Past relationships with submissive women?

If you are a black man reading this post, please give me some insight as to where some of your fellow specimen get this notion that every woman has to be with them. Also, why aren’t we holding these men accountable?

All Black Everything

Stigmas Surrounding Black Families

The recent ad by Macy’s really struck a nerve. I already know how “other” people see us (Black people) and I don’t too much care, but to blatantly through it in our face, well that was unsettling.

On television, you see black people in interracial relationships, same sex, or single mother. Rarely do you see a Black family if it’s not an all Black show. Why can’t there be Black families portrayed on White shows? Oh, that’s right: the dynamic of a black family scares White people. Yes, I said it. A Black family with a mother, father, and children is powerful. It shows unity and solidarity. A black man and a black woman together are unstoppable and indivisible. That’s more dangerous than an educated Black man or woman. 

Also, a Black married couple is more likely to procreate, making more Black people. That kills the White supremaciat agenda of population control in the Black community. More married couples means more children, which means more Black people, and we can’t have that now can we? (Sarcasm)

But why is a Black married couple so dangerous? Well when we are single, it seems we are more easily manipulated into thinking that we need a partner of another race, especially Black women. With our men being shot or incarcerated, there is purportedly a shortage of Black men, leaving us to White men. We are made to believe that’s our men are gay, in jail, or dead. 

When it comes to Black men, and this goes back to slavery, White women are a step up. They bring money and opportunities that allegedly Black women can’t. Black women are painted as ghetto, dramatic, uneducated, broke, jobless, and the list goes on, so I’ll digress.

By taking fathers out of the home either by murder or prison, young boys are left with only a mother. This makes it easy for the White agenda to turn them gay. If they have no male figure, they take it upon themselves to maneuver these young boys. Now I’m not saying this is always the case. I’m not saying that at all. You do have Black boys who grow up in twonparent households, but for the sake of this argument, and this ad that doesn’t portray that, I said what I said.

Feel free to debate with me on this topic, but I feel like too many of our people are “missing the mark” when it comes to spending our dollars and raising our children.

All Black Everything

Macy’s “Missed the Mark” too

Here we go again with another company who shows racial inequality in an ad and then apologizes for it. As Black and Brown people, we need to stop allowing this bullshit, because that’s what it is. 

Here’s my thoughts on this ad and all ads showcasing racial inequality:

I guess the figure if they portray our “stereotypes” that we’ll stop shopping with them, but you have too many of us who will see this and still shop there. Propaganda. People are so quick to forgive and forget, and yell “boycott” but don’t stand true to it. I personally don’t shop at Macy’s and haven’t since I got fired in 2013 because I was late. 

These companies are nowhere near apologetic because these types of ads are their MO. You can read the article here, but it’s just another company who met their goal. You can’t honestly get me to believe they have no Black or Brown people who work in HQ or digital marketing.

All Black Everything

Top U. S. Cities for Human Trafficking

I was listening to Mahogany Momology podcast and something they mentioned really stuck in my head. One of them said the reason that they don’t let their child run around or pick up stuff or stop paying attention is because Dallas is the 3 largest city for human trafficking (Houston is actually number 3). They also mentioned little black boys being a target for organ harvesting.

I never thought of why black parents are so adamant about children sticking close or paying attention, or not being distracted by touching things. I really never thought of any of that until I became a parent, and even though Malakhai is not old enough to roam around, it’s still something that I will keep in mind once he gets older.

I wanted to share the top cities in the U. S. for human trafficking from lowest to highest.

15. Orlando

14. Baltimore

13. New York

12. Chicago

11. Los Angeles 

10. Dallas

9. San Francisco 

8. San Diego

7. Las Vegas 

6. Sacramento

5. Columbus

4. Miami

3. Houston 

2. Atlanta

  1. Washington D. C.

As you can see that California has the most cities on the lit, being that they have the highest issue with human trafficking. Being that I live in Houston and it’s number 3, that’s scary. Be sure, especially if you are a POC, that you are watching your children when you are out. 

Source:https://www.insidermonkey.com/blog/15-top-us-cities-for-human-trafficking-in-2018-651630/?singlepage=1

All Black Everything

Black Women vs….well…Black Women

I was watching Red Table Talk with Jada Pinkett-Smith, her daughter Willow, and her other Adrienne. They were discussing how Black Women should be the bigger people and bridge the gap between us and White Women. I had a huge problem with that. Why should it be up to use to bridge this gap that was not created by us? Why is it our responsibility? I feel like that’s a child begging to fit in with kids that they don’t belong with, or me trying to build a relationship with my father who doesn’t want any parts of it.

My most daunting question is: Why are we trying to bridge a gap between us and another race of women when we can’t even bridge the gap between us and other Black Women? That is where the real issue is. If we cannot come together as a race and build each other up, uniting as a group of women, why try to do it with another race? That’s like trying to find love with another person and you don’t even love yourself.

Black Women have been pitted against each other for the longest (since slavery). We have so much divide among us from hair, to skin color, to how we raise our kids, to being single parents, to body discrimination, to careers, etc. On top of that, we have to deal with our own mental health issues and realizing that we need professional help and that it is okay to seek it. 

So, even before we can bridge the gap between us and other Black Women, we need to deal with our own issues. We come from generational mental health disorders and a cohort of other issues that we don’t deal with, continuing to live life broken, going off of a hope, a wish, and a prayer that we will magically be whole again. It doesn’t work like that sis.

My issue with these “celebrities” is how they use their platforms to appease “other” people instead of uniting their own. Why are you begging to be a part of the masses who could not care less about you? You have little boys and girls who look up to you because you look like them, and they’re seeing you with your puppet strings putting on a show for kids who don’t look like you, controlled by the puppet massa’. How sway?

 I’m all for unity, but it starts with first healing yourself, working to unite the culture, and that’s where it stops. It is not our job to get everyone else to sing “Kumbaya”. What are your thoughts on this issue?

All Black Everything

Nappily Ever After: Black Hair and the Struggle to Fit into a Society That Doesn’t Respect Our Beauty

Growing up, I’ve always had long hair and it stayed relaxed and straightened. Every six weeks I would be in someone’s salon, in someone’s chair, at someone’s sink, and under someone’s dryer. I hated it. It was all to meet this standard of society that my hair needed to be straight. From such a young age, I was indirectly taught that wearing my natural hair was unacceptable. During this time, I didn’t know what natural hair was or that it existed.

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My hair was always down my back and I swung it like the white girls, though I never wanted to be like them. I guess in the black community for girls, you are expected to basically assimilate and accept another culture while rejecting and suppressing your own.

I used to think that men only wanted women with long, straight hair. What I realized is most men don’t care or they prefer a woman to wear her natural, kinky, curly, coily, 4c hair (I say 4c because that’s my hair type). When I was about to graduate from college (circa 2010-2011), I stopped getting perms. My mom said I needed to do something with my hair because it was just nappy and everywhere.

So, every two weeks, I went and got it washed, cut, and straightened. This was gravely damaging my hair so I went the bold route and cut it all off with scissors. Everyone was shocked. The next day I went to the salon and got it all cut even, basically a bald fade. I rocked that for a little while then let my hair grow out for about 2-3 years and then cut it all off again. Can’t really remember how many times I’ve cut it, but I made a vow the last time to never cut it again and I haven’t.

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I’m really loving all of this women who live in the public eye who are reverting back to their natural hair. I know that in Hollywood there is a standard for what your hair must look like: bone straight like the white women. Well, as black women, our hair doesn’t grow like that and we have to do a good deal of work to get it straight.

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Nappily Ever After with Sanaa Lathan is an inspirational movie and not only that, if you check out her IG, she’s been rocking her natural curls. Many black women, famous and not, are rocking their natural hair and I couldn’t be more proud of our culture. I’ve been rocking my natural hair for 8 years now and I can’t see myself going back. I also am not a fan of weave, wigs, or makeup.

Why do you rock your natural hair and what does it mean to you? Also, what did you think of the movie?

All Black Everything

Free at Last!!!

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If you don’t know the significance of this photo, then you don’t live in, nor are you from a southern state. The emancipation proclamation was a document that ended slavery on January 1, 1863 in the southern states, however, because the slaves had no television, phone or any other way to get the news, they were still slaves for another two years. This is more so in Texas, where I’ve been living for the past 21 years (despite not being born here, I’m still a Texan). On June 19, 1865, it was announced that slavery had been abolished in Texas. We celebrate this day because of its importance. Texas was the last slave state and where all of my family is from.

All Black Everything, Health + Wellness

Apesh*t & Black Panther

No shade, but black women are the most diverse group of women on this planet. It’s true.  We are the only group of women who come in a wide variety of shades and we have a wide variety of hair textures. But the one thing that bothers me is the misrepresentation of the different shades of black women and the unfortunate favoritism of certain shades. Not to mention the treatment of different shades.

I am not a Beyoncé fan (Beyhive do not come for me unless I send for you), but I have a great respect for her latest video, Apesh*t. It is an extremely inclusive video, with black women of shades across the entire spectrum. That made me feel amazing that she did that. In today’s time, women of my skin tone or darker are underrepresented in music videos and all other aspects of media (commercials, billboards, ads, etc.).

Beyoncé is all about the empowerment of black women, just look at her Formation music video. Her live performances always have only black women doing background and the instrumentals. There aren’t too many women with large platforms and popularity as her, advocating for black women in their entirety.

Black women from lightest to darkest have many adversities against them. Light skinned women are always asked if they’re mixed because they’re too light to just be black. They have to have something else in them. They are also seen as stuck up, yet the most sought after from dark skinned black men. Then you have the women of my color who also aren’t seen as just black. Speaking from personal experience, I am always asked where I am from. Many people think that I am from the islands because of my hair texture and my complexion. I’ve been told I’m too pretty to just be black, and believe it or not, that is an insult to my heritage. I am just black. Period.

I’ve also been told that I must be mixed. Well I’ve never seen a biracial black woman as dark as I am. I’m never seen as just a black woman in America. Also, because I speak proper English (thanks to those years spent living in England), I have been bullied and astrocized by black men but more so black women, speaking as if I’m better than them, that’s what they tell me. Not all black women are loud, uneducated, petty, mad, and belligerent.

Then you have those who are in the range in between light and dark who are often left in the abyss. Nobody really talks about them. Most other ethnicities don’t know but there is a rift amongst black women due to the varying shades. The lighter skinned sisters tend to feel like they’re better than the darker skinned and also look down on us. I’m not saying all, but most, and I think they feel like the have a sense of entitlement because society sees them as more favorable.

I am the type of person who looks deeper into everything I see, especially commercials. Rarely will you ever see a darker skinned woman. They are always of light complexion or biracial. Women of my skin tone aren’t seen as pretty.

I also want to take note of Black Panther. A YouTuber that I watch brought up a good point. She said a friend of hers felt slighted because the representation in Black Panther was limited to women of my color and darker. I hadn’t actually paid attention to that during the numerous times that I’ve seen it. After watching the video, I went back and watched it again and realized that she was right. The thing is, in much of Africa, where Wakanda is, there aren’t really any lighter skinned women. Africa is mainly of people my color and darker.

So, with Black Panther not having any lighter skinned women, it was a true representation, not to mention, all the women in the movie aside from Lupita, Sury, and T’Challa’s mother, were bald. This movie really was for our culture despite the representation, or underrepresentation.

A lot of this rift, again, goes back to slavery. Lighter skinned women were favored mainly because they were a product of a slave woman being raped by a slave master, or a white woman manipulating a black slave male into sleeping with her. These children ended up being house negroes. Granted there treatment was still bad but not considerably as bad as field negroes (I don’t use the other “n” word). We are all still experiencing PTSD (post traumatic slave disorder).

I hope that one day, collectively, we can put colorism aside. We are all black and descendants of Africans and African slaves.

All Black Everything, confessions, Vegan Mommy Things

Confessions of a Single Mom #6: The Talk

And I’m not talking about the sex talk either. As a black mother to a black boy, we have to have a talk that our white counterparts don’t: being a black boy in a society that sees him as dangerous and a threat because of the color of his skin. It’s a shame that I have to even have this talk with him and to say that I’m terrified of it is an understatement.

Why do I have to tell my son that because of the color of his skin and he’s a male, he was born with a target on his back? Why do I have to tell him about obeying the police no matter what and not to run even if you’re innocent or they will shoot you down? Why do I have to tell him that no matter what the cop says, don’t become defensive or combative, just cooperate? Why do I have to tell him that if he’s hanging with his white friends and cops come around, he’ll be the one they look at while his friends get to go free, or that he’s the reason for there being any trouble?

Why do I have to explain to him that in school if he seems to be smarter than the rest and he isn’t properly accommodated, his acting out will automatically have him labeled ADD or ADHD or even SPED, when in reality he is just smart and ahead for his age? Why do I have to explain to him that he won’t be able to do everything his white friends do because his skin doesn’t allow him that privilege? Why do I have to explain to him that he will be stereotyped until the day he dies with people assuming he’s a ball player, can run fast and has a big penis?

Why do I have to explain to him that some, not all, white women will go after him for his penis or his money if he decides to play ball? Why do I have to explain to him that he will be fetishized by white women and gay white men? Why do I have to explain to him that there is a certain way he has to act around white people just to make it in this world?

But you know what? Why do I have to explain anything aforementioned to my black son? Because that’s the world we live in and if he’s not careful, he’ll find himself at the barrel end of a gun. I’m not even looking forward to having to have this conversation with his father about when we should talk about these things with him. I know that someone will say why is race always involved. If you live in America and anywhere that black people, especially black boys and men, are shot down for no reason, you’ll understand. Coming from a black mother, our worry about our babies is ten times worse than those of any other race, including those of biracial children.

All Black Everything, Health + Wellness

White Women Only

If you are not a POC, you won’t understand the significance of this post, but I will try to make it to where you have a gist of the point I’m trying to convey. In the Black community, mostly among Black women, there’s this stigma that anything against what we deem “the norm”, is white. Let me try to explain.

When I began living a plant based lifestyle, at that time, the face was white. Many people said that veganism was a white thing, or eating healthy was for white people. Most of these comments, actually all of these comments, came from other Black people.

See, our poor eating habits stem from slavery, and yes I can already hear people now: “why does everything have to be about slavery with y’all?” Well, a lot of what we deal with today stems from slavery: the racism, discrimination, exclusion, etc. Believe it or not, much of slavery still exists today. We are still underpaid, treated unfairly, and targeted by race soldiers, aka The Police.

Back to what I was saying: poor eating habits. Our ancestors did all of the cooking for the white folk and what was leftover, neck bones, fat backs, chitterlings, oxtails, and any other part of the animal the white folk deemed unworthy, was given to the slaves. That passed from one generation to the next, which is why we have the highest levels of blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetes, heart disease, and everything else.

What most people, most Black people, don’t know is that veganisn stemmed from our ancestors before slavery, back in Africa. Our ancestors lived a mostly vegetarian lifestyle, consuming some fish. They are off the land. This is why you see so many of those in my generation, millennials, adopting a plant based lifestyle. In the age of technology, I feel like we were the last generation to learn how to research, the first to learn to research using technology. We do the most digging, reading and soul searching, which is why many of us have given up religion (that’s a post for another time). We’ve learned that Black history goes further back than slavery, which is what most white Americans don’t want us to know, which is why Black history month is limited to Black Americans post slavery.

Now to the point of this post: breastfeeding. In the Black community, breastfeeding is not a huge thing, it’s almost taboo. I’ve heard from other Black women that they were told breastfeeding is for white women and we are trying to be like them. Yes, I’m about to bring up slavery again. During those times, Black women weren’t allowed to nurse their babies.  They were made to nurse the master’s babies. Their children were left in the sun and only consumed sugar water. Fucked up? Yes, I know.

Thoughbi haven’t heard these comments personally, and no one in my family breastfed or stuck with it, it still isn’t something normalized. They do bring up formula and he needs to be in a bottle, mainly because that’s all they know. They don’t know or understand the benefits of breastfeeding.

1. Bonding

2. Building the baby’s immune system

3. Emotional stability

4. Fights off all kinds of diseases and illnesses

5. Lose baby weight

6. Can protect your baby from developing allergies

7. Can boost the baby’s intelligence

8. May prevent childhood obesity

9. Decreases risk of SIDS

10. Can reduce your stress levels and risk of PPD

11. Can reduce your risk of certain cancers

There are also many other benefits. It’s not a white women thing, it’s a mothering thing. As women, by nature, we are meant to breastfeed, and yes, I understand some women can’t breastfeed due to many factors. Though I never understood women who just chose not to breastfeed for whatever reason and I feel bad for those who were coerced into believing that Black women don’t breastfeed.

What brought in this post was the picture above. I saw it on IG and I reposted it. Every time I look at it, something in me just said to make a blog post about it to share information to expecting Black Mothers and to reassure Black Mothers who already breastfeed, letting them know that it’s okay.

What do you think about breastfeeding and have you ever been told it’s a “white woman” thing? Did you breastfeed? Why? Why not?

All Black Everything, Product Reviews, Vegan Mommy Things

SmootiePie Baby and Belly Moisturizer

As a mommy-to-be, stretch marks are inevitable. For me, it’s been the dryness. As my belly expands, the dryer it gets and this moisturizer is life. Not only is it vegan, black owned and cruelty free (y’all know how important that combo is to me), it smells absolutely amazing.
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I am the type who is prone to dry skin and I’m also conscious about products I use so close to my baby. Anything you put on your skin, your skin absorbs. That’s why I go for natural products by the likes of @lovesmootiepie.
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I have to say this is moisturizer did take me by surprise. I immediately thought it was hard, kind of like coconut oil. To my astonishment, I dipped my finger in and it went straight through. It’s almost like a creamy butter that melts into this enriching oil. *
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Needless to say, this mommy approves and I will definitely be using this on my baby love, Khai, once he is born.

 

All Black Everything, Vegan Mommy Things

The Honey Pot Co. Mommy-to-be Wash

Now this stuff right here my ninjas (because I don’t use that derogatory word) is the truth. I am absolutely picky when it comes to products for my vagina. She doesn’t like fragrances (she gets straight ignant with the yeast infections from fragranted products). This feminine wash is for mommies-to-be (but I’m sure any woman can use it). It’s fragrance free, vegan, cruelty free and black owned. Not only that, but it works like a charm. All my pregnant mommas and those who have had children, know this discharge is something else. This wash keeps me fresh and leaves me feeling clean.

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Another mommy approved product for you mamas to try!

All Black Everything, My Life

#BWWPCHOU Meetup

A few weeks ago I attended a planner meetup with my mom. We had an amazing time in this room full of black women who plan their lives to keep it together. Some of these women were hardcore planners while we also had some that just started. As for me, I’m in between, with only 3 planners.

I stumbled upon this group when I found the main Facebook page for the entire country and didn’t realize there were smaller city chapters. Now I don’t feel so alone. I used to think planning and planners were for white women but now I see it’s for every woman, especially those of us who are mothers. How else are we going to keep from losing our shit?

Planning has helped me in more ways than one. Being pregnant, I forget things often. It can be something that was said less than a minute ago and already I have forgotten. I’ve found that with writing things down, I can go back and remember important information.

Budget planning helps to keep money in the bank. I have never budgeted j til now and when I sit down at the end of each month, I see where my money is going (mainly to food, shh).

I also have a teacher planner because, well, I’m a teacher and we have all sorts of dates and deadlines for things. I can’t keep up with all of that so what I do is take the district calendar and write down all the dates as well as my school’s calendar.

Below are some pics from the festivities. Definitely cannot wait until the next planner meetup.

All Black Everything, Health + Wellness, Vegan Mommy Things

Eating Healthy is for POC Too

Podcast: Black Girl in Om

Grocery Haul:

Avocados

Blackberries

Blueberries

Strawberries

Potatoes

Tomatoes

Pumpkin seeds

Pecans

Raisins

Kale

Nutritional Yeast

Bolthouse Farms Non-Dairy Milk

All Black Everything, My Life

Black Girls Teach

I came across this Instagram page when I searched #blackteachers and #blackeducators. A whole page dedicated to black female educators! I am all about black women empowerment. It is something that is near and dear, simply because I too am a black female educator. I am in my second year teaching and I love working with students and getting to see them grow and grasp new concepts. I have high expectations of my students and they know I do, and it’s only the third week of school.

Being a black educator is more common than most people think. What we do lack is black male educators, which I feel is an impertinent part of educating black students, more specifically and importantly, black boys. Many black boys do not have that positive male role model to look up to, therefore, they tend to stray off towards a path of self destruction, or follow in the footsteps of negative male behaviors (i.e. drugs, alcohol, gangs, crime, jail, victims of police brutality).

Granted that there are enough black female teachers, I still feel like we need to do so much more for our young girls. I have been in education for four years, and the things I have seen and heard among young black girls is heartbreaking. Working in a high school setting you hear about body counts (sexual partners, not murders), twerking, baby daddies, gossiping and just girls tearing themselves and others down. This is why I feel my job as an educator is so important.

Yesterday, one of my female students came up to me and said that one of my male students said to her and her friends “girl love.” Now she took it offensively (I teach 4th grade) in a way that would have the boy suggest they were gay or liked each other. I told her that I don’t think that is what he meant (given the personality of the young male student), and I told her that he more than likely meant “girl love” as in you all are friends and love each other. I explained to her that “girl love” is about women and girls lifting each other up and helping each other. It’s about not picking on each other or bullying, but being kind and supportive. She walked away annoyed that the boy didn’t get in trouble and she was completely untouched by my speech, but I felt great explaining that to her (though she probably thought I was crazy).

I feel that being a black female teacher is like the students having a second mother ( I can’t even count the times I’ve been called “mom” and “mama”), one who teaches them in ways that their parents either can’t because either they don’t have the resources or they don’t have the time. It’s kind of like a coparenting situation.

I encourage more black women, and men, to become educators and teach our youth in ways that they can’t be taught by those who don’t look like them. Having a familiar face in the classroom is significant to their learning.


You can find the t-shirt on Black Girls Teach website, and you can follow them on IG @blackgirlsteach.

All Black Everything, Health + Wellness

Black Mental Health

I was talking to a friend a couple days ago about something that he was going through and we got on the subject of Black people seeking professional help. What also brought this to my mind is the recent incidents with Kanye West. Now I am not saying that he does or doesn’t have mental issues, because I am not in his inner circle or close to him, but it made me wonder why is it that when Black people profess that they are going through something or that they need help, it is seen as being taboo or they are shunned for it?

Now I have written a post about this topic before, but I wanted to bring it back up. I feel it’s a serious, relevant topic especially given the increased police brutality our community has faced over the past few years. We are still dealing with the aftermath of slavery, which our  great-great grandparents, and so forth, have endured and have passed down these mental illnesses through generations.

Going to a psychiatrist is seen as a white thing and that only white people can have mental illnesses. My thing is with white privilege and white supremacy, there is nothing for them to have issues about. For hundreds of years they have oppressed, raped, mutilated, murdered, etc., a great many people of color. If anything, there should be more people of color seeking professional help. 

In our community, we always get the “I’ll pray for you” or “Stay strong” or “You are man/woman and you have to be strong for you family.” Excuse my language, but that’s bullshit. Praying for me and telling me to stay strong is not going to help me get through what I’m going through. Sometimes we need someone to just listen or be able to just cry to. Often times not being able to have those options, causes us to bottle things up and we lash out in very dangerous ways.

I’ve been to therapy and it was a very traumatic experience for me and I hadn’t gone back. This was about 7 years ago, which is how long I’ve been single. I’ve been thinking of going back and this time to a Black therapist. I went through a lot with my last relationship and I still haven’t recovered from it. When people go through terrible breakups, they carry that baggage and all that hurt with them throughout their relationships that follow.

There are many other things that affect our mental health such as rape, murder, racism, being passed over for a job, unequal pay and our diet. I think that our diet is one of the main factors when it comes to mental health in the Black community, we have been brainwashed and mentally conditioned to believe that the way that we eat is okay because our families have eaten that way for generations. Well truth be told, our grandparents, and those before them, did not have other options or the resources to educate themselves on why this food was killing them or making them ill. That goes back again to slavery. We have not healed from any of that.

As a community we have to seek the help that we need and stop thinking that it’s not okay to be going through something that you can’t handle on your own.

All Black Everything, Health + Wellness

Black Girls Mental Health


I came across this IG page, @blackgirlsmh, and I was blown away that there is a page like that. In the Black community, there is a huge thing about seeking professional help. Growing up we are told that as Black women, we don’t have issues and we are to get over it. Black men from a young age are told by their fathers that hugging past a certain age, men just don’t do. They don’t say I love you to each other and they are not to show emotions.

Black people have suffered for a long time in this country and people wonder why we have problems. Mental health issues in the Black community has been passed down since slavery. I know White people hate when we bring up slavery but we have suffered a lot in this country. When a White person goes in a shoots up a place, they can plead insanity but if it is a Black person, they are in they’re right mind. All that shows is that White people are seen as crazy, not us.

Black people do have mental health problems and because we don’t get help, we lash out in other ways whether it be violence, anger, drugs, alcohol, sex, just like anyone else, though when we do it, it is seen as more extreme. I am here to tell you that it is okay to admit that you need help. It is also okay to seek professional health.

Black women, you are not alone. We all suffer from some sort of mental issue whether it spawned from the past or happened recently. I personally have seen a therapist and though I did not like my therapist because immediately she prescribed antidepressants and I am against medication, that is not to say that it won’t work for you.

If you know you need and are afraid, check out BlackGirlsMH. Another great site to check out is My Black Matters.

Afro Hippie Vegan

All Black Everything, Uncategorized

Being Clothes Free is Black Culture

White people have been appropriating Black culture for forever and a day and I’m so sick of it. Though I am proud of the fact that many of my people are waking up and noticing what’s going on and taking our culture back. Sadly, there is one part of our culture that black people aren’t taking back and has become a majority White thing: living clothes free.


I have hated wearing clothes since I was a child. Even to this day, I hate wearing them. Always having to figure out what to wear depending upon where I am going. Having to dress appropriately is a hassle and the fact that appearance is everything, makes it worse. This is why I don’t work in corporate America. Back to the topic.

I have not been in public clothes free due to many of the gatherings being majority older, White males or majority White. I would feel more comfortable around my own people. What many don’t know, the reason Black people wear clothes is because Europeans, when taking my people from the Motherland, saw them naked and were instantly jealous that our body parts tended to be much larger than theirs. Some of them even paraded us around like animals in a circus. Some have done it as late as the 1950’s.

We were the first to have lived clothes free lives and White people have taken that from us, just like everything else, and made it their own. They have a history of stealing from other cultures and making it theirs. Now not all white peoole are like this, but vast majority are, especially those voting for Trump (racist pig).


I write this post because being naked today is always sex related and it doesn’t have to be. I don’t get turned on every time I see a penis. It’s all in our heads. I love my body and the beauty of it glistening in the sun. The way the sun makes my melanin radiate is uncanning. Those who lack melanin can’t say the same. 

In closing, strip off your clothes and embrace your bodies, my Black people. After all, we did it first and have for centuries.

You can find this shirt on My Free Life.

Happily Clothes Free,

Afro Hippie Vegan

All Black Everything, Uncategorized

Mind+Body+Soul Monday: Black Women Control Food

In the Black community, whose food do we always relish over? That of our mothers, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, aunties, etc. Basically, a Black woman. As Black women, we are the soul creators of delicious food in our community. We do the grocery shopping, preparing and cooking. We have the health of our families in our hands. Never thought of it that way, did you?

As Black women, we prepare food without any thought of if it is going to benefit our families or not. We prepare it to feed our families and make sure that it tastes goods. As millennial Black women, we hope to have husbands who love our cooking as much as they do their mothers and grandmothers. What if I said that as Black women, we have the ability to keep our race alive and thriving? Hear me out.

We love the foods that are fried, fatty, salty, artery clogging and heart attack causing. I used to be one of those women. Going vegan, I have found and made many vegan versions of my mother’s recipes and even those of my favorite ethnic foods. I am an avid cook and have been since I was in grade school. I want to one day cook for my future husband the foods he loves, but in a way that will be beneficial to his health.

Black mothers pay no mind to what they feed their children as long as they are fed. If you love your children as much as you say you do, stop feeding them death, violence, abuse and disease. Everything a Black woman feeds her child(ren) and family, needs to be of nutrients, health, healing, and above all, from the earth. Black women, our ancestral women before slavery, did not feed what we feed our families today. In the tribes in Africa, they fed them food of the land with a side of a little fish.

We grew our own foods and picked our own foods to ensure great health and healing in our men who worked all day, and children who played and worked as well. We need to instill that of our heritage and history in our daughters so that when they grow older, they can do the same for their children and families, and so on.

Black women,  have the power to change the declining population of our people. We have the power to heal those who are sick and dying. We hold so much power. We give life after all, so why not elongate it? We can make a huge change in our community. There are so many resources and Pinterest is a huge win with me, where you can find vegan recipes for absolutely anything.

My final words, Black women, love your families by giving them food that will keep them alive.

Mind, Body and Soul,

Afro Hippie Vegan