A little birdie told me today was national #bumpday. Looking at this photo, you would assume I was happy, joyful, excited, invincible, and you would be right. But I didn’t feel that way my entire pregnancy. This picture was taken on my due date.
Many of you know my story so I won’t get into that, but my pregnancy started off terrible. I was set to move to Shenzhen, China, to teach English. My visa and everything were in order and the school was about to book my flight. I had been going to the doctor and the doctor kept telling me I had high blood pressure, but I had never had high blood pressure. In my mind, I thought I was just anxious and stressed out about this huge move, and the fact that I didn’t like my doctor didn’t help. Little did I know that my life was about to change in the most unexpected way.
I was on the phone with my cousin on August 12, 2017. I had missed my period by a day and I was joking about what if I was pregnant. We both laughed because this was a running joke between us. That next morning, honestly for shits and giggles, I bought a pregnancy test. It came two in a pack. I took the first one, it was positive. I thought, “Ha, that’s funny.” So I took the second one. I wasn’t laughing anymore.
I immediately headed to my mom’s house to tell her the news. I told her before I even told Malakhai’s dad. My brother happened to be in town, so I pulled my mom aside and handed her the tests. As I cried tears of sadness, she screamed and danced around with joy. I was highly offended that she was happy in my pain. I was mad. I didn’t want to be pregnant. I didn’t want kids. She then told my brother and that weighed heavy on him because I was so upset.
I finally told Malakhai’s dad and that was no better. He wanted me to get an abortion to save his marriage but the damage was done. I couldn’t go through with the abortion. So, I had to say goodbye to China, for the time being. I still could’ve gone, but I was about to be a new mom in a new country. I wasn’t ready for that.
My pregnancy was easy. No morning sickness, minimal swelling, no high blood pressure (apparently my body was just in shock that I was pregnant), no pregnancy symptoms, nothing. My belly just grew and that was it. I hired a midwife and had an unmedicated natural birth. I was ecstatic and emotional when Malakhai was born. I was in shock that I pushed a human being out of my body. The amazement of what a woman’s body can do. 15 months later, I’m still nourishing that tiny human through breastmilk and watching him thrive! Not having that abortion is the best decision that I have ever made.