All Black Everything

Why do Black Men feel so entitled?

I already know I’m going to catch heat behind this, but I don’t care. I’m only speaking from personal experience so clearly I don’t men all black men. I’m going to preface this article by giving a little back story.

This guy I went to school with has been after me for years, roughly 17 years to be exact. I was never interested in him and once we graduated high school, we parted ways. Thank goodness. However, it seems year after year he seeks me out on social media (not that I’m hard to find).

So about 2-3 years ago, I made the stupid mistake of finally sleeping with him. He’s been hounding me ever since, wanting to be with me. He’s a very aggressive person and I honestly didn’t and don’t feel safe in his presence because he tries to pressure me to have sex.

The last time I saw him was in 2017 at my ten year class reunion. We said “hey” in passing and of course he later on hit me up wanting to come over and I said “no”. We had a huge argument and again, parted ways. He hit me up last year and I was still not interested because I had just had a baby.

Let’s go back a couple of days and he messages me asking did I miss him. I was honest and said I hadn’t thought about him and I hadn’t. I have a child. I’m not thinking about any past men at this moment.

So then he asked why I didn’t want to “fuck with” him. That is where the conversation took a turn for the worst. As a grown ass man, that is not something you should be asking a woman and for certain not in that manner. I explained to him that he wasn’t the kind of man I wanted around my son, nor the kind of man I would want my son to look up to.

He of course was offended and said he’ll talk to me again when my son is old enough to understand what a role model is. I told him don’t bother. So he proceeds to comment on my breasts and I asked him to refrain from that. He asked why and I asked him if I told him to not touch me, would he ask the same question. He said since we had already slept together that would be weird for me to say no.

Pause. Only a rapist would say that because that’s rapist mentality. How dare you tell me that if I tell you not to touch me, that you should still be able to? What right do you have? You still have to have my permission rah and every time you want to touch me. I am not your possession. He then told me to grow up and I blocked him.

Now to my point. What is it that makes some black men feel entitled to do as they want to black men? What makes you entitled to date me, touch me, make me talk to you? Since when do you own women? Like the man who killed the woman because she didn’t want to dance with him, or men who call women “stuck up bitches” when they cat call and a woman turns her nose up, or say that she’s “ugly anyway?”

Where does this sense of entitlement come from? I’ll be damned if Malakhai grows up and thinks that he’s entitled to any woman he wants and she has to submit. Fuck that. If a woman says no then dammit she means no and vice versa. There are women too who feel entitled to men.

This topic also comes in loo of the documentary Surviving R. Kelly. He is the largest entitled piece of shit excuse of a man and I feel like some other black men are taking after him, thinking it’ll work for them.

Could it come from past sexual abuse? Lack of a father figure? How they grew up and seeing their father’s or, mother’s boyfriends, doing the same thing? Past relationships with submissive women?

If you are a black man reading this post, please give me some insight as to where some of your fellow specimen get this notion that every woman has to be with them. Also, why aren’t we holding these men accountable?

2 thoughts on “Why do Black Men feel so entitled?”

  1. Wow! Well I’ve been married now for 16 years. From what I remember in my experiences. I think once you have sex with a man, we fell like we have “conquered” (for lack of a better term) that woman. Sometimes, not in all cases, we think or may see that perticular woman as a friend with benefits. Especially if there is a history. He may possibly see you that way, although you may not see him in that way. Most guys would get the hint, obviously he feels like he hit it right, and you should want him for more, but if that’s not the case, don’t give him any conversation, because he will feel he has a chance even if the conversation is not positive. Let me be clear, I have had a friend with benefits in my past but it was mutual, we never talked about it, but it was mutual. Over time, we just distanced ourselves from each other. I did feel like I could get it whenever I wanted, but there was a difference with me because it went both ways. I think I would have gotten the hint. It sounds like he’s not taking you seriously because he can still speak to you in some form. It doesn’t sound like he wants to marry either, so it’s just one bad experience with one black male, trust me it’s not all of us.

    1. Thank you so much for your insight. I know it’s not all black men, just from my experience and of those close to me, it’s a lot of them. It just baffles me that it’s like that. This particular guy I was referring to, he’s become somewhat obsessed so I’ve cut all ties completely. Despite the negative communication, it’s the access to me that’s enabling him and I guess making him feel that way.

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