Confessions of a Single Mom #12: I’m Tired of being a Mom

Do y’all have those days where you aren’t feeling too well and all you want to do is rest? You don’t feel like being bothered? Or those days when you’re sick with a cold and bed rest is recommended? However, you still have to take care of your child(ren) regardless of all the above? Saturday was one of those days for me.

I woke up that morning not feeling too well. Malakhai hadn’t slept too well the night before, so I didn’t sleep too well either. I woke up with a headache and my body was hurting. Despite that, I still went ahead and went to Soul Food Vegan for the grand opening. Big mistake.

On the way there, my stomach was severely hurting and cramping. I felt nauseous and my headache hadn’t subsided. After leaving, I felt much worse. My stomach was bloated and I had really bad gas. I was still also cramping.

When I got home, I put Malakhai down for a nap and ended up taking one myself. I woke up after almost 3 hours, more nauseous than before, stomach hurting and head banging. Malakhai then woke up and wanted to be all over me, but I just had to keep pushing him away. He was pressing on my stomach and made me throw up on of the times. He was fussy and that was understandable because he wanted me. Even nursing made me nauseous.

Eventually, it was time for him to go down for the night and that took two hours. In the midst of putting him to sleep, I made some ginger tea to settle my stomach and ate some toast. Mind you I hadn’t eaten since one and it was now 9.

I really was feeling terrible and I didn’t want to be a mom that day. I felt so guilty. It’s times like this where being a single parent is difficult because when you’re sick, you still have to be a parent. Sure, I could’ve dropped him off at my mom’s house and picked him up the next day, but he hasn’t spent the night anywhere without me.

I say this to say, it’s okay to sometimes feel like not being a parent. We all have those moments, but they do pass.

When have you ever felt like not being a parent?

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