Narcissism

Dealing with a narcissist is probably one of the hardest things to do if you don’t know how to handle them. My son’s father is a narcissist. He’s very controlling and demanding. He wants everything to go his way or no way. Well, the thing is, he has yet to control me.

Sometimes dealing with him aggravated me, but I have to take a deep breath and then react in a way that he least expects. Narcissistic people tend to want to get you riled up. It fuels their behavior. The best way to deal with them is to react the opposite of what they want.

I’ll give you some examples. My son’s father, let’s call him Tyrone (I know right?). Tyrone likes to give me a deadline of when something needs to be done and usually he wants whatever it is done that day. Me being the petty person I am, depending on level of importance, I’ll do it a day, or two, or three, hell even a week later. I’m a grown ass woman. Nobody demands anything from me aside from my son. He can make demands from his wife and our son, but not from me. I bow down to no one.

Another example is when he gives me ultimatums. First of all, if you know me, you know I don’t take well to being required to make a choice. He gives me a choice of A or B and I take F. This is how our “relationship” has been for quite some time.

Narcissistic people get gratification from everything being centered around them and everyone doing what they want, how they want, and when they want. I can’t see myself letting someone try to belittle me that way.

Always meet narcissism with pettiness. That’s the only way to combat it. I could just not deal with him at all, but that would be me hurting my son and I’m not willing to do that. Yeah, my son is young, but I’m just not willing to start a habit that continues on to when he does understand and then I’m the bad guy.

Have you dealt with a narcissistic person? If so, how did you handle them?

9 comments

  1. I have a full blown covert Narcissist baby mama, and dealing with them is a nightmare. Control, manipulation and my pain is all she cares about. After a long court battle we have my daughter 50/50 week on week off, and if she can’t get to me in some way she will get her fuel by abusing our little girl emotionally and mentally so it doesn’t leave scars that show. The only way to deal with the demands is exactly how you say, with pettiness. Never over react. I’m just glad I read up on narcissism a year ago because it has definitely helped me realize why people do what they do and how to properly deal with them!

    • She’s trifling and I’d take her ass to court for that. She doesn’t care about that baby. As a mother, I can’t imagine ever abusing my son in any form or fashion, no matter how much disdain I have for his father. But yes, pettiness has got him acting right. He used to try to control the coparentship that we have and have things go his way or demand I do what he says but he now realizes that in all actuality, I run this. We don’t have 50/50 because my son is a baby, so he gets him one day a week, for now, until he gets a little older. He now works with me and tries to come to an agreement because I won’t stand for his shit and my pettiness makes things real hard for him. Just keep being a great father and emotionally and mentally supportive to your daughter.

  2. My husband and I deal with this all the time. My bonus child’s bio mom is a high conflict person and very narcissistic. I don’t react or say a word to her in public if kids around I will say hi but keep walking. Husband doesn’t react and just try’s to communicate best he can now that we have primary custody in the best interest of our son

    • That’s probably best. Not engaging with narcissistic people keeps everything civilized in my experience.

  3. This is amazing my dad is a true narcissist and dealing within now that I’m an adult is truly frustrating almost to the point i rather just not deal with him period

    • I’m sorry you’re going through that. I just don’t understand why people don’t understand that their behavior effects other people.

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