Confessions of a Single Mom #2: Home, Sweet Home and Closing the Door

Yesterday Boo and I finally went home from my parents’ house. We had been staying with them for the past 7 weeks. We had adjusted to him being out of the womb and I was getting used to my parents helping out and watching him while I sleep, as well as doing a bunch of other things for me.

Scared was not even the word to describe how I felt about leaving my parents’ house and doing this on my own. Granted they live literally 3 miles away, they are currently out of town. My son’s father helped me to move all of our stuff back into my apartment. He then left right after for an emergency. I was left alone with Boo. That’s when the crying began. He would not let me put him down so I could begin unpacking. At one point I left him in the room and closed the door. I felt a panic attack coming on. Then all of a sudden, the crying stopped, so did my heart. I went back in and he a was laying there with a string of snot coming out of his nose. He looked up at me and my heart broke.

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I picked him up, wiped his nose and cuddled in the bed. I nursed him and he fell asleep. As soon as I got out of the bed, the crying started again. I put him in his vibrating chair and let him watch cartoons on YouTube. I cleaned up a bit until my mom came. She stayed for a little while and he was completely calm. After she left, he cried on and off for the next five hours.

Around 10:30, I called my mom. I put her on speaker so he could hear her voice.  He was calm again. After we got off the phone, I nursed him and he went to sleep. He slept the entire night until I woke him up at 5 to change his diaper and to nurse. He quickly went back to sleep.

I still feel bad about leaving him in the room to cry. I feel like a terrible parent for doing that.

If there are any tips or trick to soothe a crying baby that is not hungry, wet, or sick, please leave them in the comment section. Being a single parent living on my own is hard as fuck.

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14 comments

  1. Hey girl- get a white noise machine. My son is five and still uses it because he’s conditioned to it. It worked wonders for my kids! And don’t be scared, you got this. God gives us only what we can handle (although I always wish he didn’t have so much faith in me!)

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  2. It’s ok momma you’re doing great! Would you consider baby wearing ? So you can do some of your chores with him on you? Obviously don’t cook with him on you but you can fold laundry, put things up… lightly clean … just a suggestion

    My sons 8 months and I really babied him with holding him so much and he can still play by himself in his playpen for about 30 mins. He can also sit independently so you’re a little far off from that milestone as of now …

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  3. It killed me to let T cry and cry and cry but I did. That is how they learn to self-soothe I was told. If you can find it I had a wonderful gadget that sounded like how the mother’s heartbeat sounds to the baby in womb. It was voice activated and had a variety of color it cycled through. It was amazing and worked so well. T use to call it his whoosh whoosh

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