Helpless in Houston

On Tuesday, my son was admitted to the hospital with a temp of 100.4. We woke up that morning and he felt extremely warm and was sweating. We headed to Texas Children’s Hospital in The Woodlands (btw it’s a fancy ass hospital). We went to the ER and was immediately taken back to get vitals. His temp had gone up to 102.

They poked and prodded him. I felt helpless. There was nothing I could do. He was fussy. Each time they had to do something to him, I had to step out. I can’t stand to hear my baby cry. He took most of what they did like a champ.

Then, they finally said they were going to admit him for two days. I had a melt down. I was scared, worried, confused, and, again, helpless. What was wrong with my baby?

We waited for hours for a room to become available. Our room was pretty swanky with a bathroom, shower, and the most beautiful view. The nurses were amazing, helpful, and waited on us hand and foot.

I was famished by this point and they said that I had to pay for the food I wanted to order off of the menu. Later I found out I got to eat free even though I wasn’t a patient, but since I’m breastfeeding, in order for him to eat, I have to eat. They had vegan options but not a wide variety.

I stayed in the room most of the time because I have trust issues. Even though my mom was there with us the whole time, she did have to sleep. The nurses feel in love with Boo and I had to make sure he didn’t come up missing.

It was a while before we heard anything from all the tests they ran. This morning they said he had E. Coli in his urine, which was and easy fix. They had had him hooked up to a machine to give him antibiotics through an IV.

We are home now and he’s doing better. His appetite never changed neither did his dirty and wet diapers. This whole experience taught me that I can’t control everything. Not everything can be fixed by me. There will be times when there are things that are out of my hands.

To my mamas, or anyone for that matter, when have you ever felt helpless?

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5 comments

    • It is! Like there’s never a moment of not worrying, making a sacrifice or doing what needs to be done for your child at the drop of a hat. Motherhood is the only job that you don’t get a break or vacation from.

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  1. The worst for me was that T was born 9 weeks premature. Due Oct. 4th born August 7th. I had never been so scared in my life. But I had to be strong. I could not falter. I could not fail. Despite the fact that there was nothing I could do. He was born. He lived. He survived. But the fear ate at me. I just did not let anyone know.

    Liked by 1 person

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